So I have been back from India for about two months now and it was a crazy ride! I have told the story a bunch of times now and I will put it all down here, but not tonight. Tonight I am going to just go over some things and express some stress I am feeling. So here it goes -
While in India I came to the conclusion that I needed to move out of the house for some very good reasons (personal growth and mental health being two of them). I signed up for 12 credits of classes, planned on getting my job in Recreation Therapy back, and getting back into church and scripture study. Oh and talk to a therapist to see if I was going crazy or if the world is just crazy...
Well - some of what I was planning on has happened. I still need to do better on the spiritual aspects of my life, the academic side is in a mess (I will expound on this in a bit), found out the world is crazy and I am getting there, I haven't moved out yet (this is wearing on me, because several other things need this to happen first), and I did get my job back (I still love my job and the amazing people I get to work with). So I got my job back and I spoke to a therapist, YAY (sarcastic emoticon here)!
School is a mess! I should not have enrolled in this semester, I was not ready to be back and I have some personal things I need to take care of or I am going to SNAP! I may snap anyways! School just feels like it is in the way. I really have no idea what to do right now, except for suck it up and bust my arse to try and salvage something, but every morning when I wake up I just think how much I don't want to be anywhere right now and if I get out of bed I am hardly engaged in my studies. Oh I also fall asleep in almost every class, even when I get a full nights sleep! I think this may be task avoidance behavior. I am trying to keep my head above water and failing marvelously/pathetically. I don't seem to remember how to study or pay attention.
Well that is enough complaining for now, I have to wake up tomorrow morning and go help bale a bunch of hay for work. I was supposed to take it off to go backpack, but decided I would catch up on homework/studying instead and then volunteered to go and help bale hay. I am some kind of IDIOT! Hey, but at least I am getting paid :)
Goodnight to you all and good morning to some! Yay for 4 hours-ish of sleep and manual labor.. and being stupid!
Really though, I hope everyone reading is doing well! Love you all and good night!
While in India I came to the conclusion that I needed to move out of the house for some very good reasons (personal growth and mental health being two of them). I signed up for 12 credits of classes, planned on getting my job in Recreation Therapy back, and getting back into church and scripture study. Oh and talk to a therapist to see if I was going crazy or if the world is just crazy...
Well - some of what I was planning on has happened. I still need to do better on the spiritual aspects of my life, the academic side is in a mess (I will expound on this in a bit), found out the world is crazy and I am getting there, I haven't moved out yet (this is wearing on me, because several other things need this to happen first), and I did get my job back (I still love my job and the amazing people I get to work with). So I got my job back and I spoke to a therapist, YAY (sarcastic emoticon here)!
School is a mess! I should not have enrolled in this semester, I was not ready to be back and I have some personal things I need to take care of or I am going to SNAP! I may snap anyways! School just feels like it is in the way. I really have no idea what to do right now, except for suck it up and bust my arse to try and salvage something, but every morning when I wake up I just think how much I don't want to be anywhere right now and if I get out of bed I am hardly engaged in my studies. Oh I also fall asleep in almost every class, even when I get a full nights sleep! I think this may be task avoidance behavior. I am trying to keep my head above water and failing marvelously/pathetically. I don't seem to remember how to study or pay attention.
Well that is enough complaining for now, I have to wake up tomorrow morning and go help bale a bunch of hay for work. I was supposed to take it off to go backpack, but decided I would catch up on homework/studying instead and then volunteered to go and help bale hay. I am some kind of IDIOT! Hey, but at least I am getting paid :)
Goodnight to you all and good morning to some! Yay for 4 hours-ish of sleep and manual labor.. and being stupid!
Really though, I hope everyone reading is doing well! Love you all and good night!
