Letter to a Friend

I have a lot to talk about, we had our first large group of volunteers (40+), there was a bee in my shorts, I found a surfing beach, I took the school pictures for the UKG (Indian's kindergarten) class, and so much more... but I will have to talk about it later, because a very good friend of mine passed away yesterday. My heart and prayers go out to the Chalk family tonight.
If you hadn't already guessed, this blog entry will be a letter to one of my best friends Dave Chalk. Please do not feel awkward reading on, because this is one way I am celebrating his life while also dealing with his loss. There will be no other post I make that I will welcome feedback and comments more on while I am in India. If you are reading and you know Dave, please share a memory of him.

Dear Dave,
   You know I was planning on taking you out to dinner when I got back. You spent at least $80 to cover yourself, me, and Chris when we had that goodbye dinner for me a few days before I left. I was planning on paying for the three of us, which was why I invited Chris to come to. Had I known you were going to shout I would have done things a bit differently. I am really angry that once again you have trumpt me in our game of who buys who dinner... and you know what Dave? I feel extremely foolish that I made you promise to throw my ashes in the Antarctic Ocean if I died in India. You just did what you always have done when I say weird things or make ridiculous requests. You humored me - because you knew how paranoid and scared I can be. I don't even know if you knew you were going to be gone soon! You didn't say anything, you just enjoyed the moment and helped me feel loved. I wish I was half the person you are! I wish I had an ounce of your courage! and now I am crying!
   Dave there were so many times I wanted to ask you how you were really doing, but I never felt it was my place. I do not regret that, I am happy and grateful I was able to spend time with you enjoying life, food, and thoughtful discussions, but I wish I could have paid you back at least a tenth of the support you gave me.
   I do not know how I am supposed to feel right now Dave... I really don't. I know you were in a lot of pain a few months ago and that it has been really hard for you over the last year especially, but when I had dinner with you you said you were feeling much better. I feel so selfish for wishing you were still here. Of all my friends I wanted to talk to you most of all about India. Discussing your work in the humanitarian aid prepared me for a lot and I have changed my position on a few things that I know you would have liked to hear since it would basically be proving you right. Not that you would gloat over it. You would just be like, "Uh huh, you really can't measure some things. I knew you'd figure it out." And the food!!! Who on Earth am I going to be able to talk to about food like I did with you?!?!?!?!
   Well I think I am going to get in touch with your family and maybe do a food pilgrimage with Brad, if he is available, in your honor. I will also strive to be more compassionate and courageous in your honor.

Thank you and I love you Dave,

Shane E.K. Maryott


I will be posting one photo I took of Dave Chalk last year along with three photos from India.

As always, I am grateful for your readership and hope that you and yours are in good health and good spirits.  

This One is Rambling On

I would like to start this one by apologizing about not having the blog updated this last Sunday. We were coming back from the city of Tiruchirappalli (aka Trichy, located 6 hours SW of our home in India aka the Elephant House) and did not get in until almost 9pm. I was surprisingly exhausted, so I decided I would just go to sleep once I got everything unpacked and was comfortable. We visited two major temples while in Trichy, the Rock Fort Temple and Sri Ranganathaswamy. Both temple are over ten centuries old and Sri Ranga is one of the largest religious complexes in the world.

Our volunteer from the last session left this last Thursday, which was sad because he was AWESOME! Shout out to Matt G.!!! The upcoming session will have around 40 volunteers, so we will have a full house. I will be sharing a room with five other people, dude people... I would like to now thank all my friends who have helped me get to the point where I can sleep in the same room with other humans. This was not something that came naturally for me. My parents can attest that I have always fought sleep and many of my old friends will probably notice that if they look back I rarely slept when other people were nearby. I am now much better at it! I just feel bad that I snore... Oh well, bad feeling is gone.

Sorry this post isn't very interesting. I have been rather busy and not had a ton of time to properly collect my myriad of wandering thoughts. I will say two more things and then you will have some pics from the Trichy to look at.

First off - the other coordinators made a sign and chalked happy birthday on my floor for my birthday so that when we got back from Trichy it was there waiting for me. The next morning I was woken up by our VPO (basically the head coordinator) with crepes for breakfast! The man brought me crepes in bed! Basically I love everyone I work with here/food controls most of my emotions.

Second - Did you think I would leave without trying to cram something insightful in?  Of course not! I love thoughts put down with pretty words or visuals... That being said this isn't one of my best, but the following realization did make my eyes get a bit misty.
While we were heading to a colony last week I was looking out the medical van window thinking about how helping some of the children write letters to their sponsors was hard for me (at the peak of my emotions I almost cried), because there were so many kids asking for letters from their sponsors and I only had the ones I had that day and they are all so cute (they are extremely disarming) and I was just a visitor in their lives. Simultaneously, I was also watching the light fade from warm bronze to thin honey and thinking about how beautiful the rice patties and various vegetable plots were all hemmed in by teek, neem, and palm with accents of various bushes. This is when I realized that I am being forced open by the experiences I am having here. I have, over the last decade or so, closed many parts of myself off. Much of it has been in response to certain stresses that I will not go into right now, but the fact is I have not allowed any one person or single group of people to get in... not in a long time (sorry if this is too blubbery a post). After some thought I came to another realization - If you go out into the World it will work its way into your heart and open you up. I am so grateful to live in a world that is so strange and beautiful that it disarms you, that it opens you and forces you to live as part of it. You really can't do anything to change that and it is scary and comforting all at once.

Well that is it for now. I hope everyone is doing well and watches Jurassic World, because dinosaurs are always cool and Chris Pratt is a stud and I wish he was my best friend.