I have a lot to talk about, we had our first large group of volunteers (40+), there was a bee in my shorts, I found a surfing beach, I took the school pictures for the UKG (Indian's kindergarten) class, and so much more... but I will have to talk about it later, because a very good friend of mine passed away yesterday. My heart and prayers go out to the Chalk family tonight.
If you hadn't already guessed, this blog entry will be a letter to one of my best friends Dave Chalk. Please do not feel awkward reading on, because this is one way I am celebrating his life while also dealing with his loss. There will be no other post I make that I will welcome feedback and comments more on while I am in India. If you are reading and you know Dave, please share a memory of him.
Dear Dave,
You know I was planning on taking you out to dinner when I got back. You spent at least $80 to cover yourself, me, and Chris when we had that goodbye dinner for me a few days before I left. I was planning on paying for the three of us, which was why I invited Chris to come to. Had I known you were going to shout I would have done things a bit differently. I am really angry that once again you have trumpt me in our game of who buys who dinner... and you know what Dave? I feel extremely foolish that I made you promise to throw my ashes in the Antarctic Ocean if I died in India. You just did what you always have done when I say weird things or make ridiculous requests. You humored me - because you knew how paranoid and scared I can be. I don't even know if you knew you were going to be gone soon! You didn't say anything, you just enjoyed the moment and helped me feel loved. I wish I was half the person you are! I wish I had an ounce of your courage! and now I am crying!
Dave there were so many times I wanted to ask you how you were really doing, but I never felt it was my place. I do not regret that, I am happy and grateful I was able to spend time with you enjoying life, food, and thoughtful discussions, but I wish I could have paid you back at least a tenth of the support you gave me.
I do not know how I am supposed to feel right now Dave... I really don't. I know you were in a lot of pain a few months ago and that it has been really hard for you over the last year especially, but when I had dinner with you you said you were feeling much better. I feel so selfish for wishing you were still here. Of all my friends I wanted to talk to you most of all about India. Discussing your work in the humanitarian aid prepared me for a lot and I have changed my position on a few things that I know you would have liked to hear since it would basically be proving you right. Not that you would gloat over it. You would just be like, "Uh huh, you really can't measure some things. I knew you'd figure it out." And the food!!! Who on Earth am I going to be able to talk to about food like I did with you?!?!?!?!
Well I think I am going to get in touch with your family and maybe do a food pilgrimage with Brad, if he is available, in your honor. I will also strive to be more compassionate and courageous in your honor.
Thank you and I love you Dave,
Shane E.K. Maryott
I will be posting one photo I took of Dave Chalk last year along with three photos from India.
As always, I am grateful for your readership and hope that you and yours are in good health and good spirits.
If you hadn't already guessed, this blog entry will be a letter to one of my best friends Dave Chalk. Please do not feel awkward reading on, because this is one way I am celebrating his life while also dealing with his loss. There will be no other post I make that I will welcome feedback and comments more on while I am in India. If you are reading and you know Dave, please share a memory of him.
Dear Dave,
You know I was planning on taking you out to dinner when I got back. You spent at least $80 to cover yourself, me, and Chris when we had that goodbye dinner for me a few days before I left. I was planning on paying for the three of us, which was why I invited Chris to come to. Had I known you were going to shout I would have done things a bit differently. I am really angry that once again you have trumpt me in our game of who buys who dinner... and you know what Dave? I feel extremely foolish that I made you promise to throw my ashes in the Antarctic Ocean if I died in India. You just did what you always have done when I say weird things or make ridiculous requests. You humored me - because you knew how paranoid and scared I can be. I don't even know if you knew you were going to be gone soon! You didn't say anything, you just enjoyed the moment and helped me feel loved. I wish I was half the person you are! I wish I had an ounce of your courage! and now I am crying!
Dave there were so many times I wanted to ask you how you were really doing, but I never felt it was my place. I do not regret that, I am happy and grateful I was able to spend time with you enjoying life, food, and thoughtful discussions, but I wish I could have paid you back at least a tenth of the support you gave me.
I do not know how I am supposed to feel right now Dave... I really don't. I know you were in a lot of pain a few months ago and that it has been really hard for you over the last year especially, but when I had dinner with you you said you were feeling much better. I feel so selfish for wishing you were still here. Of all my friends I wanted to talk to you most of all about India. Discussing your work in the humanitarian aid prepared me for a lot and I have changed my position on a few things that I know you would have liked to hear since it would basically be proving you right. Not that you would gloat over it. You would just be like, "Uh huh, you really can't measure some things. I knew you'd figure it out." And the food!!! Who on Earth am I going to be able to talk to about food like I did with you?!?!?!?!
Well I think I am going to get in touch with your family and maybe do a food pilgrimage with Brad, if he is available, in your honor. I will also strive to be more compassionate and courageous in your honor.
Thank you and I love you Dave,
Shane E.K. Maryott
I will be posting one photo I took of Dave Chalk last year along with three photos from India.
As always, I am grateful for your readership and hope that you and yours are in good health and good spirits.
Dear Son and Dave,
ReplyDeleteHow proud I am of two of the most courageous young men that I know and in whose shadow I stand. Now that you are both far away from us, your absence is keenly felt; you are both loved and missed.
I have yet to change the siding on the house where your barbequing attempt melted the shingles. I remember being frustrated that day…funny how the value of things change. Now, I just may leave the shingles as they are and smile at the memory they bring.
To Dave, how can I thank you for the light you brought into our home and the friendship you have given our son? We miss your shiny haircut and crazy dark-rimmed glasses…only you could pull that look off! The several times you have visited us in Utah and the numerous gastronomic and other adventures that Shane has shared have left our family with memories that are inspiring and that will be cherished. You are the greatest example of life carpe diem in a world of wonders that God has given us to experience. Our hope is that because of your example, we will grab life more fully and savor it to the fullest. Dave, you loved here!
To Dave’s parents and family, we can only fleetingly understand the loss that you are experiencing at this time. Our thoughts, love and prayers go out to you. Please find some comfort in the knowledge that mortality is only a brief portion of a richer more wonderful existence that is eternal…there will surely be a great reunion in your future! All our love to you.
To our son Shane, we are with you in spirit and know that you are feeling a great pain right now as Dave is your brother. We love you, support you and are so proud of the work you are doing in India and how your life is turning out to be a huge example of goodness to us as your family and to all those around you. Live as Dave has taught us all, carpe diem for all that is good. We look forward to your return home when we can laugh and cry with you again.
Me ke aloha pume hana e i ngaru au i a koi,
Mom and Dad
Dave,
ReplyDeleteI've never met you or talked with you, but I've felt your influence regardless. Your friend Shane is also my friend. I can only try to fathom the depth of your character as related by our friend. He always spoke of you with cheer and gratitude, your goodness constantly evident in how he praised your friendship and how you related to others. I know you have been a positive influence on Shane, for which I thank you deeply. I thank you because, in turn, he has been a good influence on me and taught me so much about true friendship. It's kind of funny, but you've helped me through him without knowing it. You've helped countless people that Shane has met since he met you. He is who he is in part because of you. God bless you and your family with faith and strength to navigate the coming changes with hope.
Ian Johnson
Shane, I miss you brother. I can't wait till you get back and tell me about your adventure and how much you've grown. God loves you. Your family loves you. I love you Shane. Thank you for being my friend.
I miss you Dave.
ReplyDeleteAnd we were going to go to that burger place...I guess I always think things can wait, and I can do them later. I should take advantage of my the time I'm allotted.
I hope Dave is happy right now :)